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i am well aware of how this comes across, how “unlikely” it is to happen 4 different times. my first 3 happened within relationships, the last happened with a friend i had deeply trusted. in my first relationship i was very young and naive, i was not interested in having relations with my partner, but he was. he slammed me against a wall in a public bathroom in a park and shoved his hands down my pants, i am lucky someone came in. none of my friends believed me and sided with him, the only one who cared about me became my second relationship. a man with a corn addiction, one that i wasn’t aware of. the one that took my virginity, and wanted to have relations almost every day. i didn’t want that, but he didn’t respect my no’s. he would start begging me until i said yes, which turned into touching me until i said yes, which turned into flat out ignoring my no’s. i was in such denial about this situation, he was my happy place and his house/family was my safe space away from the things that were happening at home. i am lucky to have a friend who was very persistent in opening my eyes. once i confronted him about it, he admitted to me he knew what he was doing, in person and over text. i have ss of the conversations. when my parents found out they forced me to take it to the police, which was something i did not want to do. i was put in a room with two grown men, interrogated several times and ask to show what happened with dolls at 17 years old. i was then stalked by his family, especially his mom (i have proof of this too). they all said i was lying and the case was dropped because of “lack of eye witnesses”. although the police did go to his house to speak to him about the situation. he would go around his band, theater and choir departments and would claim that i lied. i did not go to this school, i did not have any way to stand up for myself. i received many threats and lost many friends. by the time i had gotten into my 3rd relationship, i was freshly suffering from a traumatic brain injury and on a lot of dřüġs. i was very unaware of the things going on around me and life did not feel real. this man was several years older than i was and took advantage of me and my situation. he had continued to touch me after i said no. that was when i had my first flashback. i had gotten up and left, never spoke to him again. in december of 2022 i got diagnosed with ptsd because of my second relationship. april of last year i was at a trusted friends house to cut and dye his hair. when we were done he had gotten on top of me. i tried pushing him off and struggled to get away, but unfortunately he was much bigger and stronger than i was. a few days later i had started to get a breakout down there. i went to the gynecologist for her to asses these bumps. not only did i have tears from the assault, but i was diagnosed with herpes. i was offered a räpe kit but denied, since i have been through this process before and know that i need more than that kit for it to get anywhere. not only was i violated a fourth time, by a man who was well aware of my past, i had been diagnosed with a permanent std that has a very unfair and untrue stigma. the older i get the harder i find for it to tell people my story. i know within society it is difficult for just one story to be believed, let alone four. but i have always been open about my experiences and always spread awareness of sêxúäł abuse within relationships as well as herpes and correcting the stigma that goes around it. although sêxûãl abuse has always been an issue, i am a firm believer that corn in todays age has made this issue a lot worse, especially in the younger generation. it puts a negative impression on a young mind, making one crave this “experience” more, as well as making them think it’s ok to push boundaries to have this experience. if you have read this far, thank you. please spread awareness about your experience, i am here to talk. feel free to ask questions as well. ##saawarenes
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